The Negative Committee Meeting Between My Ears

My mind does not leave my mind alone! Anyone else? Seriously, there is a whole lot going on in there... like all the time.

 If only telling The Negative Committee that their meeting is adjourned and they are free to take a hike was that simple. The committee in my mind has quite the agenda and isn't too willing to sit down or shut up.

 I had a rough day. Felt left out. Unwanted. Discouraged. Frustrated. Overwhelmed. Why can't I handle life better? Why can't I choose joy more often? Why do I let people's words and actions get to me? Why do I let people steal my joy? No, actually, why do I hand my joy over to others?  Worst of all, today, I felt like a failure as a mom.

Yeah, I can relate to this one. My kids are great, but I am pretty sure I am screwing it up, messing my kids up. All moms know that's the worst kind of mental torment. EVER.

Just a few weeks ago I read a book by a young, up and coming author and speaker. I was surprised to see she had printed her website and email address in the cover of her book. She was asking for interactions and feedback. Since I enjoyed  the book immensely,  I thought I'd send her a word of encouragement.  I tend to be wordy (like you didn't know that!) and because I felt like she had become a friend through the pages,  I made the email personal and told her that I felt like I had made a new friend.  A few days later, I was excited to see in my inbox a personal response from my new-famous-author friend. You can imagine my disappointment and humiliation when I opened the email to read this, "Dear Cory..."

Cory is my husband's name, not mine! She never bothered to read my email. She pretended she did. I guess our email shows up under my husband's name. Her response was canned. Fake.

She was no more interested in me than I am in golf.  

Sounds silly to admit this, but I was hurt. Hurt by a person I have never met or spoken to. What is my problem anyway? What did I expect? I am a nobody. Why would this busy, successful woman want to read or respond to my email anyway?  What an idiot I am. 

As you can see, The Negative Committee was having a field day and I was just along for the ride. Today, more of the same. I just sat helplessly listening to the ramblings in my brain of how lousy I am, how incapable I am. Rehearsing over and over again negative thoughts. Lies from the enemy. Destructive notions. After nearly an entire day wasted I remembered this...

Nope. I've tried. Believe me. It can't happen.

 2 Cor 10:5 tells me to demolish strongholds and every thought that sets itself up against the knowledge of God and take captive my thoughts and make them obedient to Christ.

 This is an action verse. This requires a choice on my part. This involves me doing something!

 I am not a victim of my own thinking or circumstances. I cannot sit around waiting to feel better or wishing the thoughts to go away.

 I must act.

 I have to interrupt my thinking, the committee in my brain has to go.

 I have authority over it.

I do not have to dwell upon every thought that pops into my head. I don't.

 I literally have to one by one demolish and destroy the lies against the truth of God, my circumstances and who I am in Him. I have to take back my mind and keep it captive on the things of Christ.

The dwelling. The rehearsing. The ruminating must end because

Yes, they do. Whenever I over think something I torment myself. "Why did I do that? Say that? I'm sure they are mad, they must not like me, I made a mistake, Oh, I looked so foolish."  My mind over thinks, then  negative feelings take over my life. Feelings. Ah, a wise pastor said to me when I was  a teenager, "Amy, the sooner you can learn to live by facts, not by feelings the better off you'll be." Well, unfortunately, I must be a slow learner.

That is the desire of my heart. To choose wisely which waves of feelings I ride. I hate wasting my time stuck in horrible Negative Committee meetings that take place between my ears of all places!  I have other places I'd rather be! I have better things to do! God has better things for me to do!

Satan loves rendering us ineffective and unproductive because we are too busy rehearsing lies to do anything else. Can I encourage you sweet sister on this journey of life to along with me,

 battle for your mind... daily.

 Fight hard for your joy and peace. 

 Demolish those lies and replace them with truth from Gods word. Rehearse only things which are lovely. 

My husband invited me to join him for a meeting tonight. I said, "No, I don't feel like it, I don't have anything left in me today." He responded, "I think it'd be good for you." I said, "No." I chose to ride the waves of negative feelings and allowed the negative committee to have their way. Until now...

If I hurry, I can still meet up with them... and take back my mind and my joy... while I tell The Negative Committee meeting in my brain that they are FIRED.. and No, you cannot clean out your desk, you must leave... NOW! 

Gotta run..... a girl needs a quick moment to freshen up before she heads out the door ya know...

Amy Joy

Whatever things are true, right, pure, lovely, admirable, noble, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy think upon such things. Phil 4:8

You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast because she trusts in you. Is 26 :3