Give Martha a Break! Part 1 (& a homemade bun recipe)

I'm mad. So, I hope you're ready for this...get your cup of coffee or diet coke and hold on girls!
I'm mad on behalf of a woman named Martha. I have no idea what her last name is but you know her. She's the one often criticized as the 'worker not the worshiper', the one accused as being 'too busy for Jesus.' We've heard it a hundred times. I'm convinced every pastor, christian author and speaker has used her at some point as an example of how not to live... don't be a Martha! Don't do what Martha did!  I saw a book several years back entitled," How to be a Mary in a Martha World." While I'm sure the content of the book is good, I have an issue with the title. You see, I'm not Mary and unless your name happens to be 'Mary', neither are you. I'm tired of the Martha bashing. I'm tired of the pressure to be Mary and aviod any resemblance of Martha.  Maybe a part of me is mad because as a gender, I think we have a hard time extending grace both to ourselves and to other women. I personally think God wants us to be free to be ourselves. And I personally think God is not real thrilled with how we've judged his precious friend, Martha.
( Let me pause here for a moment and say that these authors and speakers are trying to illustrate a valid point, an important principle in our walk with Christ. My issue is that Martha has become a negative poster child on the issue of busyness. I think its unfair, unfortunate and inaccurate on many levels.)

First of all, let's set a few things straight.Grab your bible and read  Luke 10:38-42. Did you notice it? Martha WELCOMED Jesus into her home.She opened her home to him. Because Martha invited Jesus, Mary got to sit with Jesus. Mary has Martha to thank for her sitting at  Jesus' feet moments. With the exceptions of the Pharisee who invited Jesus over for a meal and of Zacchaeus welcoming Jesus into his home after Jesus invited himself over, I can find no other place in scripture where anyone opened their home to Jesus. But Martha did. Amazing. In an age where there were no cell phones, email, twitter or texting...this beautifully hospitable, servant-hearted friend of Jesus welcomes him and his disciples into her home... spur of the moment. No warning. No time to prepare. No place to pick up Chinese food-or Jewish food-whatever, no microwave to de-thaw something, no grocery store to pull into quick... are you picturing this with me ladies?  I'm panicking just thinking about it. She had 13 (because of the time this took place in Jesus's ministry I think it is safe to conclude he had all 12 disciples with him) grown, tired, dirty  and hungry men to feed and  to host for the night... and she, Martha, yeah, the one we're supposedly not supposed to imitate, was willing to. She invited them into her home. I don't know about you, but this woman already has won  my respect. Why isn't she remembered as the "Woman who Welcomed Jesus into her Home" instead of the "woman who was too busy working to worship him"?

Martha was a woman who wanted to be with Jesus! Why on earth would she have invited Jesus into her home otherwise? It's not like she was too busy doing her regularly scheduled cleaning, Excuse me Jesus, but today is Monday, you see Mondays are my mopping, shopping and laundry day... sorry, but I just don't have time for you. I am BUSY! Come another time.  I can tell you I have missed many an opportunity to host guests, spur of the moment, because as I took a quick mental inventory of my home, I realized I had nothing to feed them and my house was a mess. So I missed it. Not our girl Martha.  Ready or not, prepared or not... she wanted him there. Undaunted by the task, unhindered by her lack, she unreservedly welcomes Jesus into her home-her space-her presence. This, to me, is beautiful. This, to me, is true worship. As my tired feet hit the floor in the morning, I want to be like Martha... opening my home to Jesus, welcoming him into my space. Whatever the mess, whatever my lack, whatever I perceive hinders me from true intimacy with my Jesus, I still want that kind of pursuit of him. Does Jesus know, I too, welcome him into the mess of my heart, the craziness of my day? My home is not perfect but does He know I want him here nonetheless? Does He know my day is His?

Okay, are you with me so far? I read every commentary I could get my hands on and all of them said the same thing, drew the same conclusions, drilled the same point...Martha was a failure, she was too busy for Jesus. What!  Are you serious? I'm just not satisfied with  their conclusions. I don't agree with their assessment. I don't mean to disrespect my scholarly, educated brothers in prestigious positions, holding impressive titles, with names printed on really thick books, but aren't we over looking some rather simple things here?  I think Martha has been misunderstood & misrepresented for too long. We've slammed Martha for centuries. I think we owe her an apology. (I'm looking forward to treating her to a Starbucks in Heaven some day! I can't wait to tell her how much I admire her! Feel free to join us!) I know, it'll take a shift in our minds and in our spirits to give this woman a break- to free her from the negative publicity she receives- to remove the labels we've unfairly placed on her- but hang with me...

Look again at Luke 10:40. Did you catch six very important words that somehow we have overlooked through our years of Martha bashing? 'Preparations that had to be made.'  When you have 13 men to feed and no Dominoes to call, those are just the facts people. Someone had to make preparations. These men were hungry. Don't over spiritualize these moments in Martha's home. They unfolded just like they would if you had 13 unexpected guest show up for dinner. I happen to believe Jesus wanted to eat and was very much looking forward to a delicious and satisfying meal from a very capable cook. He was, keep in mind, fully man!

Don't you think Martha wanted to sit down? I'm convinced she wanted to be where Mary was. Do you think she wanted to be tucked away in the kitchen missing this? No, but she had things that had to get done. Period. I know the feeling...

A few years ago, I  volunteered to host my husband's family for Christmas. I thought that was the nice daughter-in-law thing to do. No, it's just a dumb daughter-in-law thing to do. That meant 23 people (10 adults and 13 kids ages 12 and under) in our home for  3 days. (Yes, ma'am. You read that right. I don't know what  I was thinking... but I'm still recovering!) So, while everyone was relaxing and enjoying each others company, I was hostessing. Preparations had to be made- constantly... the food, the dishes, the clean up, what needed to be pulled out of the freezer next... someone needed a band aid, an extra pillow, something broke, someones hungry, someones bored, someone didn't like where they were sleeping... on and on it went. Reality was, for those 3 days my place, my position and my purpose was to serve those in my home. While I was tempted to compare myself with my holiday-vacationing-relaxing-laughing-lounging relatives, I knew if I started comparing, I would end up like Martha... complaining and discontent.

Like my guests, I think Jesus was thrilled Martha was in the kitchen in those moments. He was smelling the aroma of a hearty dinner cooking and very much looking forward to a nourishing meal in the company of a friend he loved.  See, Martha's time sitting with Jesus was coming... around her table as they shared a meal together.  The sitting. The fellowshipping. The receiving. The listening. It was coming!

Here's the thing, let me go out on a limb here and say something audacious.  In those moments Martha was right were she should've been! Her mind and her motives however were not. Jesus was disciplining Martha not for her actions but rather her attitude. It's where she was in her heart, not where she was in her home that got her in trouble.

Martha got distracted. Martha lost her Jesus-minded motives. She started comparing and projecting. Girlfriends, take it to the spiritual bank...whenever we do those two things we will  lose our contentment! It's so easy to judge the actions or lack-there-of of the women around us.  We want everyone on our band wagon, passionate about what we are doing, involved with our projects or ministry. In frustration, we wonder why 'so and so' won't volunteer or help out. Why isn't 'whats her face' passionate about this. She doesn't even care. Bottom line is, we want everyone else to be just like us!  We look out our kitchen window at the women whose
load is lighter
burdens are less
life appears smoother
time is freer
home stays cleaner
walk with Christ appears sweeter
fellowship seems deeper
marriage is better
kids are too
people like her
she has more... God don't you see? Don't you care? The problem comes when we start projecting our giftings, callings, passions and our personality on other people. Martha looked up from her place of responsibility... her place in the home in those moments and saw Mary
sitting
resting
listening
receiving
absorbing
and thought, Are you kidding me? How nice is that? Hello! Can't you do something? Why won't you do what I feel called to do?  If you would just help me out with my burden for a moment then maybe I could join you... and do nothing but sit there soaking it all in along with you!

God made Martha to be Martha. He made Mary to be Mary. Pretty simple, but quite profound don't you think? God gave Martha her hospitality gift and you can be sure He knew this lady could cook. He gave Mary her tender spirit and He knew this girl thrived on relationships, reflection and conversation (we'll see more evidence of this in Part 2 as we study other accounts of these sisters) He loved them both. He liked who they were. He made them the way he did- get this- on purpose.
  .
 So, I know what you're thinking. Why did Jesus give her a verbal spanking  if he was pleased about where she was and what she was doing? Good question. Here's my conclusion (study this for yourself along with other accounts of these sisters and come up with your own conclusion; this is just mine)... Jesus was defending Mary more than he was disciplining Martha. He wasn't about to let Martha pick on her sister, blame her or take her frustration out on her. Sweet ones, Jesus is in the business of defending his girls. He won't tolerate us pointing fingers and attacking one another. As a mother I feel the same. How many times have I asked one of my kids to do something only to have them pull a Martha, What about her? How come she doesn't have to help? I say the same thing Jesus did, Never mind your sister, she is just fine, she is choosing a good attitude right now, you are not."

What was the one thing that Mary chose that was better? What was Jesus referring to that wouldn't be taken from her? What was Martha worried about?  How did Martha respond to Jesus's words? What happened to the sister's relationship? I love that you are wondering! We'll talk about that in Part 2. Oh, isn't God's Word the best!? Open our eyes, Oh God, that we may see wonderful things in your Word!Here's what I want us to take away for now...

*Be known as a woman who welcomes Jesus into your home- your mess- your lack. Be someone who opens your heart to him.
*Resist hard the urge to compare, complain and criticize other women.
*Don't project your passions, personality, callings, gifting and capacity on others.
*Know that God made you- you- on purpose & He really wants you to be fully free to be yourself &  love him well out of an overflow of who you are... not who someone else is (we'll un-pack this treasure next time). He likes you... and yes, he even likes the women you can't stand (ouch.) 

Here's the deal- I would love the luxury of sitting with Jesus all day having devotions, reading his Word, praying, listening, reflecting... really, that sounds divine doesn't it? As we welcome Jesus into our homes and hearts it is possible to go about our 'preparations that have to be made' while at the same time sitting at his feet. He can be on our mind, he can be our reason, our great reward... while we work, while we do. At some point in my morning God nudges me out of my comfy 'devo chair', with my coffee, journal, bible and worship music and gently, but firmly says to me Girl, I know you'd rather linger longer, but it's time, get at it... you have preparations that have to be made that only you can do... the homeschooling of my daughters, the house work, the dishes, the laundry, the meals, the shopping, the ministering, the writing, the cleaning, the dishes, the laundry, the meals, the phone calls, the errands, the taxi driving, the hosting, the caring, the loving of my man and kids, the dishes, the laundry, the meals (oh, am I repeating myself ?) 
My work is worship when done with the right heart. Let me ask this... can our sitting too long be selfish, can it be irresponsible? Oh, in the Name of Jesus, I could sit all day with him, accomplish none of the things I should, disregard my callings, my God given responsibilities and opportunities.  Is that what God is after? I think not. Welcome Him in and do the things that have to get done- those things you were created and designed by God to accomplish.  Do them for Him. If your attitude stays right, God will be very well pleased with you dear one... and you will enjoy sweet, sweet company with Him along the way.
   We'll talk again soon...

Blessings,
Amy Joy

It just seems fitting to include our * Families Favorite Homemade Bun recipe. These are especially good with BQ chicken. (*disclaimer-4 out of 5 like it. In my home-with my cooking- that is a success!)
In a bread machine:
1 c water
1 egg
3 c flour ( I use bread flour)
1/4 c sugar
1 tsp salt
1 tbsp dry milk
3 tbsp butter
2 tsp yeast
Let rise in machine once after the dough cycle is done. Shape and let rise til double. Bake at 350 for 15 minutes. Depending on the size you are after, it makes 10-12 buns. Enjoy!

Honor God Right Where You Find Yourself

Four girlfriends who hadn't had a good talk in months found themselves with the rare chance to be together and get real. We found the only quiet room in the house where the kids wouldn't find us and piled on the bed...to talk, girlfriend style (men would never pile on a guys bed to have a heart to heart!) Feeling like college students in a dorm, but well aware that life was far too real and too raw to still be 'those days', we poured open our hearts. After 40 years of living there's a lot to cry about, a lot to get real about.

We shared unreservedly, unashamedly. We cried because we couldn't help it. We cried because we could. We prayed because that's the only thing we knew to do.

The gist of our getting real could be summed up in phrases like this...This is not what I had planned. This is not what I had dreamed life would be. This isn't what I wanted. I don't like this assignment. This is too much.  I didn't picture it turning out this way. It's not right. It's not fair. This hurts. I wish things were different.This load is too heavy.

While we shared life raw, I was reminded of a woman I admire deeply in scripture. She doesn't get ink because of her grandiose life or courageous efforts. She is a nobody. She is a slave. But I have grown to appreciate her and be fascinated by her. 
Her name? Hagar.
 Yes, the only Hagar in the bible, the one Abraham took - to sleep with - after his wife Sarah said to do so. Read Genesis 16 to get refreshed on the whole story. Sarah was tired of waiting for a child so she comes up with the brilliant, no, make that lame idea that her husband sleep with her servant. 
 Now, I happen to believe Sarah really didn't want her husband being intimate with another woman. 
I think she was emotional, irrational - it may have been that time of the month.  We know women say lots of things they don't mean during that time of the month! I think she wanted reassurance from her husband is all. She wanted him to say things like, No way baby, I'm a one woman man. You are my one and only. I love you. I want you  no matter what. I trust God. I know he will fulfill his promise to us. We're in this together. It's OK. No, I will not sleep with any other woman! Don't be ridiculous! Eat some chocolate if you need to, buy a new sweater if you must but get a grip my darling! 

But instead our man Abraham here basically says, Sure, sounds good, whatever you say honey. I'd like to call him a jerk here, but since he's called the Father of Great Faith, I probably shouldn't. Sarah takes Hagar and gives her to her husband so he can sleep with her. Now,  because I feel we owe it to  Hagar... lets call it what it really was, this young slave woman, was violated. She had no choice. She didn't get a say. She wasn't asked. Abraham didn't get down on one knee and ask her hand in marriage.  It wasn't up to her.  She had no choice.  She was taken. That's called abuse. That's called rape.  It may have been normal and culturally accepted at that time but that didn't ease the torment or the pain. And it certainly, didn't make it right or excusable. This thought may be hard for us to process. It should be. But ignoring the reality to ease our discomfort is an injustice to the woman who suffered greatly. 

After Abram gets Hagar pregnant, the house gets ugly. Quite ugly. How'd ya think that was going to work out for ya Sarah? Talk about awkward! Sarah, who at this moment in her life acts like a complete brat, is cruel to Hagar her slave. She makes her life more miserable than it already was. So Hagar runs....

I would've too (after giving Abraham a black eye that is.) She was distraught. Life was not right. Things were not fair. She had been wronged. She was ripped from her family and her people in Egypt, sold as a possession. Life was painful. This is not what she had dreamed of. Every little girl growing up at that time on planet earth wanted to be the chosen wife, the wanted woman. The only one treated with some sense of dignity in a land where women had no rights. No little girl  dreamed about growing up to be another woman's... slave. Hagar didn't like her assignment. She didn't like the load she carried. She didn't like her lot in life. She was living a life of other people's choices - she was reaping the consequences of other people's decisions.  This wasn't what she wanted!  This isn't how she envisioned her life would unfold!

So God shows up and says to her, where have you come from and where are you going? (God always encounters us, invites us into relationship.) Hagar tells the angel that she is running away from Sarah.

 Now get this, God responds back to her with, are you ready... Go back to Sarah and submit to her. 

Wait one cotton-pickin  minute God!!

 You really didn't say that did you? I mean, you meant to say, Oh sweet honey, my poor little baby girl. I am so sorry. I cannot believe what these meanies are doing to you. I am going to pluck you up out of that terrible life and plop you down in a place you deserve. A place where you will be loved, wanted and treated properly. I will fix  everything for you. No more Sarah. No more slavery. I will not tolerate anything in your life being unfair or wrong. This is not what I had planned for you when I knit you together in your mother's womb, therefore I will change everything and make it all better!

No, I'm afraid that's not at all what God said to her. Not. At. All. He just tells her to

 Go Back.

 Face it.

 Live it.

 Accept it.

The wrong and all. Go back to it. ( Dear one, if you are in a physically abusive relationship you need to get out and get help. I am not suggesting you stay in a dangerous place.) If we read between the lines I think God would be saying, See dear one, problem is, you live in a fallen, sin saturated world. Things aren't right. Everyone lives the consequences of other people's poor choices. I can't change everything. If I did, none of you would have a free will. If I did, this would be heaven, but it's not, that's coming. But until then, life unfolds as people live it. No, this wasn't my plan A for your life. This wasn't my very best for you. Abraham and Sarah's decisions and your fathers before that, by allowing you to be sold as a slave, changed all of that. But I am with you. I am here. I always will be. I see you.  I will right every wrong one day. I will use this for good in your life. I can redeem your days and bring blessing out of heartache. But you only have one option Hagar my daughter, Go Back. Live life as a pleasing aroma to me. Honor me where you find yourself... fair or not. Honor me where you are whether it's what you dreamed it would be or not. Go Back.

There is more to this amazing story. I will write more about that later. But for now, I think the message is clear. God's words to Hagar are His Words to us. Where are you going? What are you running from? You might not have physically run away like Hagar did. Some of us have just shut down, pulled back, withdrawn, given up, resented, resigned and well, thrown ourselves a big royal pity party. Maybe we emotionally have run away from a responsibility or a relationship. Maybe we have pushed back from a calling on our lives or a position God has given us.

I feel led to say this today... maybe it's Motherhood you are running from... it's not what you dreamed it would be. It's so much harder. So you opted for a career, a paycheck and accolades instead. I'm not suggesting every mother should stay home; for some, it is God's will for their family that the mother work. For others, they would love to stay home but have no choice due to finances.  I know a lot of godly women and fantastic moms who chose to work.  But if you are simply running from the motherhood assignment -  that you wanted by the way - because it's harder than you imagined, then quit running from the highest calling you will ever have... and Go Back and submit to the irreplaceable role only you can have in your home.

Maybe the same is true for you in your marriage or in singleness, infertility or with a special needs child. Maybe in relationship with your boss or co-worker or neighbor or friend.

I know for me, it can be subtle some days... I find myself running from the laundry, the dishes and the dust! I can shut down-run away emotionally when I am spent, stressed or hurt in a relationship. God never fails to meet me in the desert of my running with the same questions...Where ya headed Amy? What are you running from? After listening to me vent, His answer is always the same... 

Live your life well right now - right here!

 Give me your very best everyday - in everything!

 Yes, in the midst of the unwanted, unfair, mundane, unglamorous and even  pain-filled stuff of life... 

Go Back and honor me where you find yourself. I am right here with you... oh, and my beloved daughter, one more thing....I see you.

Life is Good!

Yes, my sweet sisters, when we stop running and start belonging... it sure is!

Amy Joy