Give Martha (and yourself) a Break! Part 2

'Sisters', what a precious word. One I don't know of personally. I don't have one. Did you hear the ache in that sentence? I don't have a sister. How is any woman supposed to manage life without one anyway? At 40 years old, I find myself trying to figure that out. The older I get, the harder it is to have a 'sister void'. Maybe it's all the moving we've done, maybe it's the complexity and loneliness of being a pastor's wife. I don't know. But, I'm so grateful my daughters have a sister!  I have to remind them every so often just how fortunate they are to have one. 

The sister relationship, can at times, be delicate... so I'm told anyway. It certainly was for Mary and Martha. So, what did go wrong with these sisters? Why did Jesus rebuke Martha? Like I shared  in Part 1, I believe God was disciplining Martha not for

 where she was in the home, but rather for where she was in her heart.

 Could it be that he was defending Mary more than he was criticizing Martha? Remember that one thing that Jesus said was needed... what was it? What did he mean? Let me ask you a question, what's Jesus's most important command?

 'LOVE the Lord your God

 with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind and with all your strength.'  Right? That's it. 

LOVE GOD WITH EVERYTHING YOU ARE AND ALL THAT YOU HAVE. Period. I have a hunch Mary was loving Jesus in those moments at his feet... and somewhere between kneading the bread and browning the hamburger, Martha stopped loving Jesus and was instead, 

loving self.

 Jesus was no longer on her mind... Mary was.

 Jesus was no longer her motivation and focus... she was. 

We can't love both God and self. 

We can't love God while being critical of others. 

Can't happen.

 Martha was lacking that One Thing.

Jesus goes on to say, It will not be taken from her. 

Mary's blessing and reward  would not be taken. Her loving actions were being stored up in the heavenlies. Martha was working hard, but with the wrong heart, so her actions don't count in light of eternity. 

Her reward was lost.

 Mary didn't choose better because she chose to sit. 

 I'm not convinced that was Jesus' point. 

Mary chose better because she chose to love God and keep him the focus of her heart. In our relationship with God, it is ALWAYS about our hearts.

 On to the next account of these sisters...

Grab your bible and read John 11:1-21 . Don't skip this part.

 God's Word is alive and active. 

He wants to bless you enormously through it, so grab it. 

I will wait...

This story unfolds as the sisters are grieving the loss of their brother. Are you getting to know Mary and Martha by now? What's Mary doing? Engaged with the people. Of course she was. She liked the attention. She needed the comfort. 

She finds satisfaction with people. 

What does Martha do? The second she hears that Jesus is on his way,

 she bolts! She is out the door!

 She leaves the guests. 

I don't think she thought twice about it either. I'm guessing with no explanation to those who had come to comfort her, she just up and leaves. 

She is after Jesus! She had to get to him! She was on a pursuit of him!

 He is who she needed!

Her eyes and ears were peeled for One.

 She was willing to leave the crowds, step out of the room filled with well meaning friends, and go on an all out search for the God of all Comfort, 

The Healer, 

The Wonderful Counselor,

 Prince of Peace

 and Everlasting Father. 

She knew His presence was her only hope, her only answer.

Could it be, that what we see  unfolding, is two sisters who Jesus himself created very differently, on purpose, by the way. Their personalities are popping through and  I love it!  Can you tell that Martha is a go getter?  She's a bold, determined, capable woman. Co-dependency is not in her blood. Mary, on the other hand is reflective, she's a people person, she thrives on relationships and connecting with people. She's probably the sensitive one. Mary would've been horrified to dart out of the house leaving all the guests who had come for her. She'd think that was rude and worry about whose feelings would be hurt. Not so with Martha... the feelings of the guests who had gathered  were not her concern, getting to Jesus was. 

She would find him- somehow.

So, Martha's brother is dead. Jesus hadn't come. He failed to show up. He was late.

 Very late. It had been too long. 

Girls, no matter how hurt we are, can we do as Martha did?  No matter how disillusioned or hopeless we've become, can we do as Martha did? No matter how mad you are at God that He failed to show up, in fact even if you feel like he stood you up... can we do as Martha did? 

Get Up and Go Find Him! Get to Him!

 Search for Him! Look for Him! Pursue your God!

Oh, it's easier to do what Mary did... sit, wait... staying in the comforts of the crowds. When I'm feeling particularly hurt, my attitude can be, "Fine, you let me down, you can come to me. I will wait right here for you to make a move." That's easy to do. 

What Martha did here, in the midst of her pain and disappointment in Jesus, is remarkable. I'm sorry, can someone please tell me again, why have we beaten this woman up?

 What exactly is our issue with this amazing woman? 

I am baffled-really. I may have no business trying to analyze passages meant for the seminary graduate, but I do believe God's Word is also meant for the simpleminded, unschooled, ordinary women of the world too. (Even those of us who like themselves a little sunshine, peace and diet coke... thank you very much.)

What I love about Martha is that instead of running away from Jesus after she got a verbal spanking from Him, she runs to him. 

Do we? Or do we pout?

 Do we get snippy when we are corrected? Are we teachable?

  Do we pick up our toys and leave? Martha could've... she could've said, Fine, if no one appreciates my cooking, I'll take this meal to the neighbors!  See if I ever invite you over for a meal again. Or, how about this, Oh, really, you want me to sit? Fine, I'll sit! In the meantime, the water boils over on the stove and the bread burns in the oven. Lovely. 

She could've run to her room and slammed the door. The evening would've been ruined, awkward, tense. We don't know what happened in those next moments, but I'd like to think she had a tender heart. I'd like to think she said, I'm sorry, you're right and then finished up dinner, with the right heart attitude. 

The evening saved. A meal enjoyed. 

Fellowship sweet.

Here comes my favorite part...The last account I want you to read is  John 12:1-3 (Don't be confused with the sinful woman who washes Jesus feet with her tears. That was a different occasion, different woman.) While in this final account, Mary once again, gets all the glory doesn't she? She gets remembered. She receives all the praise for what she did.  But did you catch it? Two words in verse 2. 

Martha served. Of course she did! 

Atta Girl!! That's how God made her!

 She was back at it. She didn't let Jesus's rebuke crush her spirit or discourage her from using her gifts. 

 God liked them both-Mary and Martha.

 He loved them. He made them. Different. 

He prefers it that way! We don't need to compare ourselves with each other.

 You don't need to be anyone else but you! We might as well be free to be ourselves because after all, every one else is taken... but YOU precious one!

Hear this...God DOES not compare you to any other woman and He doesn't want you to be any other woman. He does not want you to be Mary! He doesn't even want you to be Martha. He wants you to be... well,You! We don't have the end of the story, (oh, how I wish we did, its a good thing women didn't write the bible because it would be much longer! We simply would not have been satisfied without the endings to these stories.) As I close this tribute to Martha,  I'd like to express how I'd like to think the evening unfolded as all the guests went home and just the sisters remained...

Martha: (while doing the dishes) Mary, I saw what you did tonight. That was beautiful. The aroma from the perfume saturated the air with such tenderness and love. I saw the look on Jesus's face, Mary, he was  touched by you. He was overwhelmed by the depth of your expression of worship to him. He knew of your sacrifice. He delighted in your bold display of love. You blessed him deeply Mary. I couldn't have done what you did tonight... I don't think I have it in me to be expressive in that way. I am so proud of you, sister. 

Mary: (while helping Martha clean up!!) Martha, I saw what you did tonight. Infact, all week, as you organized this amazing dinner. It was delicious. It was perfect. I saw Jesus' face when you served him his meal. I saw him give you that gentle nod of approval. I saw the love and gratitude in his eyes for you. You ministered deeply to Jesus tonight Martha. You did. You nourished the Son of God. You fed our Messiah. He was overwhelmed by the expression of love and devotion you displayed to him tonight. I couldn't have done what you did... I wouldn't know how. I am so proud of you, my sister, Martha.

Sisters in Christ, let's cease the striving to be anyone else. Okay? Be free to be yourself... just be her well.Stay teachable. Pursue God.

Always remember, through the harshness of this world, even the Christian world, that God adores you just how you are. Love him out of the overflow of how he created you.

Oh, and make sure to bless your sisters, who are different from you, along the way....

Blessings,

Amy Joy

Give Martha (and yourself) a Break Part 1

I originally wrote this a few years ago. I feel like God is nudging me to repost it during this hectic Christmas season. Maybe just because He knew I needed it. Maybe you do too.  Love you all. Be blessed

...

I'm feeling a little bit protective at the moment. Maybe a bit momma bear-ish over a girl who isn't mine but she is a sister in Christ so that makes her one of my own I guess.  Get your favorite cup of coffee or diet coke and keep an open mind. I just might throw you for a loop today! (You can thank me later for growing you some new brain cells if you gain nothing else. Jesus knows I could use a few more.)

I'm mad on behalf of a woman named Martha. I have no idea what her last name is but you know her. She's the one often criticized as the 'worker not the worshiper', the one accused as being 'too busy for Jesus.' We've heard it a hundred times. I'm convinced every pastor, christian author and speaker has used her at some point as an example of how not to live... don't be a Martha! Don't do what Martha did!  I saw a book several years back entitled," How to be a Mary in a Martha World." While I'm sure the content of the book is good, I have an issue with the title. 

You see, I'm not Mary and unless your name happens to be 'Mary', neither are you. I'm tired of the Martha bashing. I'm tired of the pressure to be Mary and avoid any resemblance of Martha.  Maybe a part of me is mad because as a gender, I think we have a hard time extending grace both to ourselves and to other women. I personally think God wants us to be free to be ourselves. And I personally think God is not real thrilled with how we've judged his precious friend, Martha.

( Let me pause here for a moment and say that these authors and speakers are trying to illustrate a valid point, an important principle in our walk with Christ. We must elevate  worship of God over our works for God. Agreed. My issue is that Martha has become a negative poster child on the issue of busyness. I think its unfair, unfortunate and inaccurate on many levels.)

First of all, let's set a few things straight.Grab your bible and read  Luke 10:38-42. Did you notice it? 

Martha WELCOMED Jesus into her home.

She opened her home to him. 

Because Martha invited Jesus, Mary got to sit with Jesus. Mary has Martha to thank for her sitting at  Jesus' feet moments. With the exceptions of the Pharisee who invited Jesus over for a meal and of Zacchaeus welcoming Jesus into his home after Jesus invited himself over, I can find no other place in scripture where anyone opened their home to Jesus. 

But Martha did. Amazing. 

In an era where there were no cell phones, email, twitter or texting...this beautifully hospitable, servant-hearted friend of Jesus welcomes him and his disciples into her home... spur of the moment. No warning. No time to prepare. No place to pick up Chinese food-or Jewish food-whatever, no microwave to de-thaw something, no grocery store to pull into quick... are you picturing this with me ladies?  I'm panicking just thinking about it. She had 13 (because of the time this took place in Jesus's ministry I think it is safe to conclude he had all 12 disciples with him) grown, tired, dirty  and hungry men to feed and  to host for the night... and she, Martha, yeah, the one we're supposedly not supposed to imitate, was willing to. She invited them into her home. I don't know about you, but this woman already has won  my respect. Why isn't she remembered as the 

"Woman who Welcomed Jesus into her Home"

 instead of the "woman who was too busy working to worship him"?

For the life of me I cannot understand. 

Martha was a woman who wanted to be with Jesus! Why on earth would she have invited Jesus into her home otherwise? It's not like she was too busy doing her regularly scheduled cleaning, Excuse me Jesus, but today is Monday, you see Mondays are my mopping, shopping and laundry day... sorry, but I just don't have time for you. I am BUSY! Come another time.  I can tell you I have missed many opportunities to host guests, spur of the moment, because as I took a quick mental inventory of my home, I realized I had nothing to feed them and my house was a mess.

 So I missed it. Not our girl Martha.

  Ready or not, prepared or not... she wanted him there. Undaunted by the task, unhindered by her lack, she unreservedly welcomes Jesus into her home-her space-her presence. This, to me, is beautiful. This, to me, is true worship. 

As my tired feet hit the floor in the morning, I want to be like Martha... opening my home to Jesus, welcoming him into my space. 

Whatever the mess, whatever my lack, whatever I perceive hinders me from true intimacy with my Jesus, I still want that kind of pursuit of him. 

Does Jesus know, I too, welcome him into the mess of my heart, the craziness of my day? My home is not perfect but does He know I want him here nonetheless? Does He know my day is His?

Okay, are you with me so far? I read every commentary I could get my hands on and all of them said the same thing, drew the same conclusions, drilled the same point...Martha was a failure, she was too busy for Jesus. What!  Are you serious? I'm just not satisfied with  their conclusions. I don't agree with their assessment. I don't mean to disrespect my scholarly, educated brothers in prestigious positions, holding impressive titles, with names printed on really thick books, but aren't we over looking some rather simple things here? 

 I think Martha has been misunderstood & misrepresented for too long. 

We've slammed Martha for centuries. I think we owe her an apology. (I'm looking forward to treating her to a Starbucks in Heaven some day! I can't wait to tell her how much I admire her! Feel free to join us!) I know, it'll take a shift in our minds and in our spirits to give this woman a break- to free her from the negative publicity she receives- to remove the labels we've unfairly placed on her- but hang with me...

Look again at Luke 10:40. Did you catch six very important words that somehow we have overlooked through our years of Martha bashing? 'Preparations that had to be made.'  When you have 13 men to feed and no Dominoes to call, those are just the facts people. Someone had to make preparations. These men were hungry. Don't over spiritualize these moments in Martha's home. They unfolded just like they would if you had 13 unexpected guest show up for dinner.

 I happen to believe Jesus wanted to eat and was very much looking forward to a delicious and satisfying meal from a very capable cook. He was, keep in mind, fully man! 

Don't you think Martha wanted to sit down? I'm convinced she wanted to be where Mary was. Do you think she wanted to be tucked away in the kitchen missing this? No, but she had things that had to get done. Period. I know the feeling...

Several years ago, I  volunteered to host my husband's family for Christmas. I thought that was the nice daughter-in-law thing to do. No, it's just a dumb daughter-in-law thing to do (I love this side of my family and am thankful for the memories made and the room to house everyone but at the time...) That meant 23 people (10 adults and 13 kids ages 12 and under) in our home for  3 days. (Yes, ma'am. You read that right. I don't know what  I was thinking! Clearly I am not my Mother-in-law. She is an amazing hostess. That is not my gift. But I try on occasion.) So, while everyone was relaxing and enjoying each others company, I was hostessing. Preparations had to be made- constantly... the food, the dishes, the clean up, what needed to be pulled out of the freezer next... someone needed a band aid, an extra pillow, something broke, someones hungry, someones bored, someone didn't like where they were sleeping... on and on it went. Reality was, for those 3 days my place, my position and my purpose was to serve those in my home. While I was tempted to compare myself with my holiday-vacationing-relaxing-laughing-lounging relatives, I knew if I started comparing, I would end up like Martha... complaining and discontent.

Like my guests, I think Jesus was thrilled Martha was in the kitchen in those moments. He was smelling the aroma of a hearty dinner cooking and very much looking forward to a nourishing meal in the company of a friend he loved.  See, Martha's time sitting with Jesus was coming... around her table as they shared a meal together.  The sitting. The fellowshipping. The receiving. The listening.
 It was coming!

Here's the thing, let me go out on a limb here and say something audacious ( you don't have to agree with me). 
 In those moments I am beginning to believe that perhaps Martha was right where she should've been! Her mind and her motives however were not. Jesus was disciplining Martha not for her actions but rather her attitude. 

It's where she was in her heart, not where she was in her home that got her in trouble. 

Martha got distracted. Martha lost her Jesus-minded motives. She started comparing and projecting. Girlfriends, take it to the spiritual bank...whenever we do those two things we will  lose our contentment! It's so easy to judge the actions or lack-there-of of the women around us.  We want everyone on our band wagon, passionate about what we are doing, involved with our projects or ministry. In frustration, we wonder why 'so and so' won't volunteer or help out. Why isn't 'whats her face' passionate about this. She doesn't even care. Bottom line is, we want everyone else to be just like us!  We look out our kitchen window at the women whose 

load is lighter

burdens are less

life appears smoother

time is freer

home stays cleaner

walk with Christ appears sweeter

fellowship seems deeper

marriage is better

kids are too

people like her

she has more... God don't you see? Don't you care? The problem comes when we start projecting our giftings, callings, passions and our personality on other people. Martha looked up from her place of responsibility... her place in the home in those moments and saw Mary 

sitting

resting

listening

receiving

absorbing

and thought, Are you kidding me? How nice is that? Hello! Can't you do something? Why won't you do what I feel called to do?  If you would just help me out with my burden for a moment then maybe I could join you... and do nothing but sit there soaking it all in along with you!

God made Martha to be Martha. He made Mary to be Mary. Pretty simple, but quite profound don't you think? God gave Martha her hospitality gift and you can be sure He knew this lady could cook. He gave Mary her tender spirit and He knew this girl thrived on relationships, reflection and conversation (we'll see more evidence of this in Part 2 as we study other accounts of these sisters.)

 He loved them both. He liked who they were. He made them the way he did- get this- on purpose. 

  .

 So, I know what you're thinking. Why did Jesus give her a verbal spanking  if he was pleased about where she was and what she was doing? Good question. Here's my conclusion (study this for yourself along with other accounts of these sisters and come up with your own conclusion; this is just mine)... Jesus was defending Mary more than he was disciplining Martha.
 He wasn't about to let Martha pick on her sister, blame her or take her frustration out on her. Sweet ones, Jesus is in the business of defending his girls. He won't tolerate us pointing fingers and attacking one another. As a mother I feel the same. How many times have I asked one of my kids to do something only to have them pull a Martha, What about her? How come she doesn't have to help? I say the same thing Jesus did, Never mind your sister, she is just fine, she is choosing a good attitude right now, you are not."

What was the one thing that Mary chose that was better? What was Jesus referring to that wouldn't be taken from her? What was Martha worried about?  How did Martha respond to Jesus's words? What happened to the sister's relationship? I love that you are wondering! We'll talk about that in Part 2. Oh, isn't God's Word the best!? Open our eyes, Oh God, that we may see wonderful things in your Word!Here's what I want us to take away for now...

*Be known as a woman who welcomes Jesus into your home- your mess- your lack. Be someone who opens your heart to him.

*Resist hard the urge to compare, complain and criticize other women.

*Don't project your passions, personality, callings, gifting and capacity on others.

*Know that God made you- you- on purpose & He really wants you to be fully free to be yourself &  love him well out of an overflow of who you are... not who someone else is (we'll un-pack this treasure next time). He likes you... and yes, he even likes the women you can't stand (ouch.) 

Here's the deal- I would love the luxury of sitting with Jesus all day having devotions, reading his Word, praying, listening, reflecting... really, that sounds divine doesn't it? As we welcome Jesus into our homes and hearts it is possible to go about our 'preparations that have to be made' while at the same time sitting at his feet. He can be on our mind, he can be our reason, our great reward... while we work, while we do. At some point in my morning God nudges me out of my comfy 'devo chair', with my coffee, journal, bible and worship music and gently, but firmly says to me Girl, I know you'd rather linger longer, but it's time, get at it... you have preparations that have to be made that only you can do... the homeschooling of my daughters, the house work, the dishes, the laundry, the meals, the shopping, the ministering, the writing, the cleaning, the dishes, the laundry, the meals, the phone calls, the errands, the taxi driving, the hosting, the caring, the loving of my man and kids, the dishes, the laundry, the meals (oh, am I repeating myself ?)  

My work is worship when done with the right heart. Let me ask this... can our sitting too long be selfish, can it be irresponsible? Lazy at times? I know it can be for me. 
Oh, in the Name of Jesus, I could sit all day with him, accomplish none of the things I should, disregard my callings, my God given responsibilities and opportunities.  Is that what God is after? I think not. Welcome Him in and do the things that have to get done- those things you were created and designed by God to accomplish.  Do them for Him. If your attitude stays right, God will be very well pleased with you dear one... and you will enjoy sweet, sweet company with Him along the way.

   We'll talk again soon...

Blessings,

Amy Joy

It just seems fitting to include our * Families Favorite Homemade Bun recipe. These are especially good with BQ chicken. (*disclaimer-4 out of 5 like it. In my home-with my cooking- that is a success!)

In a bread machine:

1 c water

1 egg

3 c flour ( I use bread flour)

1/4 c sugar

1 tsp salt

1 tbsp dry milk

3 tbsp butter

2 tsp yeast

Let rise in machine once after the dough cycle is done. Shape and let rise til double. Bake at 350 for 15 minutes. Depending on the size you are after, it makes 10-12 buns. Enjoy!